IN THE ARTIST'S WORDS
I struggle with an invisible illness - depression and anxiety. On the outside I look pretty normal. I always have a smile to offer and I like to joke around with family and friends. I love a good belly-laugh - the kind that makes my sides ache and causes me to snort a little. I don’t walk around with my head down and grumbling like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, “Oh, woe is me, life sucks.” I’ve always tried to hide it from others and pretend I’m anything but depressed or anxious, viewing it as a weakness and fearful of being judged by those who have never experienced it for themselves. You know, those well-meaning friends and family who offer advice such as, “Cheer up! Just put a smile on your face and you will feel better . . . and while you’re at it, get OUT of the house and DO something!” It isn’t as easy as that. I read a description of depression as standing behind a thick sheet of plexi-glass. You can see everything going on around you but you can’t participate. Depression and anxiety are paralyzing. It’s a dark and cold and often frightening experience that wraps itself around me like a death-grip. It’s isolating and lonely.
When I paint I am always looking for the joy within the colors I use and the story that unfolds on the paper. I paint women and each woman is me. They never have a smile on their face and I’m often asked why. Their eyes are staring straight on, almost as though they’re looking through the viewer. The ‘smiles’ and the happiness and joy are mixed in with the paint. They are underneath the surface. When people look at my artwork I want them to feel happy and to see the joy peeking out from beneath the bright colors and throughout the happy story painted on the paper.
Painting calms me when I’m feeling anxious and it distracts me somewhat from the fearful feeling. It’s a distraction from the grip of depression, and it’s a light in the darkness. It’s my way of sharing with and interacting with others, even if I’m a hidden face within a work of art. Painting also helps me keep my sense of humor and optimism when things get really rough.
Artist's Website: www.chertheart.com
I struggle with an invisible illness - depression and anxiety. On the outside I look pretty normal. I always have a smile to offer and I like to joke around with family and friends. I love a good belly-laugh - the kind that makes my sides ache and causes me to snort a little. I don’t walk around with my head down and grumbling like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, “Oh, woe is me, life sucks.” I’ve always tried to hide it from others and pretend I’m anything but depressed or anxious, viewing it as a weakness and fearful of being judged by those who have never experienced it for themselves. You know, those well-meaning friends and family who offer advice such as, “Cheer up! Just put a smile on your face and you will feel better . . . and while you’re at it, get OUT of the house and DO something!” It isn’t as easy as that. I read a description of depression as standing behind a thick sheet of plexi-glass. You can see everything going on around you but you can’t participate. Depression and anxiety are paralyzing. It’s a dark and cold and often frightening experience that wraps itself around me like a death-grip. It’s isolating and lonely.
When I paint I am always looking for the joy within the colors I use and the story that unfolds on the paper. I paint women and each woman is me. They never have a smile on their face and I’m often asked why. Their eyes are staring straight on, almost as though they’re looking through the viewer. The ‘smiles’ and the happiness and joy are mixed in with the paint. They are underneath the surface. When people look at my artwork I want them to feel happy and to see the joy peeking out from beneath the bright colors and throughout the happy story painted on the paper.
Painting calms me when I’m feeling anxious and it distracts me somewhat from the fearful feeling. It’s a distraction from the grip of depression, and it’s a light in the darkness. It’s my way of sharing with and interacting with others, even if I’m a hidden face within a work of art. Painting also helps me keep my sense of humor and optimism when things get really rough.
Artist's Website: www.chertheart.com
