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CHER ODUM |
IN THE ARTIST'S WORDS
Until a few years ago I felt I needed to hide the fact that I live with a mental health disorder, bipolar. At the age of sixteen, I was diagnosed as manic depressive (bipolar). My life has always been like a roller coaster ride. During my manic episodes, I feel invincible. I got myself into some pretty precarious situations when I was younger and, I also did things like buying brand new cars on a whim, much to the dismay of my family. When I’m in my manic episodes I’m social and talkative but it doesn’t last long. I cycle rapidly from manic to depressed and back to manic. Before finally finding the right medication I experienced suicidal thoughts often and didn’t feel like I could tell anyone. People would offer advice such as: Just think happy thoughts and everything will be okay. There are no happy thoughts to muster when in the death grip of depression. Holding down a job was a challenge. I called in sick often during my depressive cycles and felt I needed to make up a reason for why I couldn’t come to work. I never felt that truth was an option for me. I couldn’t call in depressed. I withdraw from friends and family when I’m depressed and I barely have the energy to get out of bed but, I’m grateful that the suicidal thoughts are no longer there.
On the outside, I look pretty normal. I always have a smile to offer and I like to joke around with family and friends. I love a good belly laugh - the kind that makes my sides ache and causes me to snort a little. I don’t walk around with my head down and grumbling like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, “Oh, woe is me, life sucks.” I’ve always tried to hide it from others and pretend I’m anything but depressed or anxious or manic, viewing it as a weakness and fearful of being judged by those who have never experienced it for themselves. You know, those well-meaning friends and family who offer advice such as, “Cheer up! Just put a smile on your face and you will feel better . . . and while you’re at it, get OUT of the house and DO something!” It isn’t as easy as that. I read a description of depression as standing behind a thick sheet of plexiglass. You can see everything going on around you but you can’t participate. It’s isolating and lonely.
When I paint I am always looking for the joy within the colors I use and the story that unfolds on the paper. I paint women and each woman is me. They never have a smile on their faces, and I’m often asked why. Their eyes are staring straight on, almost as though they’re looking through the viewer. The ‘smiles’ and the happiness and joy are mixed in with the paint. They are underneath the surface. When people look at my artwork I want them to feel happy and to see the joy peeking out from beneath the bright colors and throughout the happy story painted on the paper.
Painting calms me when I’m feeling anxious, and it distracts me somewhat from the fearful feeling. It’s a distraction from the grip of depression, and it’s a light in the darkness. It’s my way of sharing with and interacting with others, even if I’m a hidden face within a work of art. Painting also helps me keep my sense of humor and optimism when things get really rough.
My joyful collaboration with accomplished poet and novelist and photographer Dan Stone began as a meeting of minds and spirits that quickly flowered into both a rich friendship and a richly rewarding creative partnership. The best partnerships often seem to be born from a mix of magic and synchronicity . . . people with unique talents and a shared vision coming together at the right time in the right place—for the right purpose.
Rarely do I offer a painting that isn’t accompanied by Dan’s verse. Ours is an utterly synergistic and organic—and yes, spiritual—connection where I create a painting and then send the image to him for the poem that always seems to capture the essence and meaning and emotion—the articulation—that completes the painting and that, therefore, is always on display on the gallery wall right beside the image.
Our collaborative work blends word and image in an effort to inspire and evoke awareness of personal power and possibility—and play--and to convey the perfection in the gift of the moment. It’s our hope that viewing and reading our work brings as much pleasure and encouragement—and magic—as we experience creating it.
Artist/Poet Websites:
www.chertheart.com
www.danielseye.com
Until a few years ago I felt I needed to hide the fact that I live with a mental health disorder, bipolar. At the age of sixteen, I was diagnosed as manic depressive (bipolar). My life has always been like a roller coaster ride. During my manic episodes, I feel invincible. I got myself into some pretty precarious situations when I was younger and, I also did things like buying brand new cars on a whim, much to the dismay of my family. When I’m in my manic episodes I’m social and talkative but it doesn’t last long. I cycle rapidly from manic to depressed and back to manic. Before finally finding the right medication I experienced suicidal thoughts often and didn’t feel like I could tell anyone. People would offer advice such as: Just think happy thoughts and everything will be okay. There are no happy thoughts to muster when in the death grip of depression. Holding down a job was a challenge. I called in sick often during my depressive cycles and felt I needed to make up a reason for why I couldn’t come to work. I never felt that truth was an option for me. I couldn’t call in depressed. I withdraw from friends and family when I’m depressed and I barely have the energy to get out of bed but, I’m grateful that the suicidal thoughts are no longer there.
On the outside, I look pretty normal. I always have a smile to offer and I like to joke around with family and friends. I love a good belly laugh - the kind that makes my sides ache and causes me to snort a little. I don’t walk around with my head down and grumbling like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh, “Oh, woe is me, life sucks.” I’ve always tried to hide it from others and pretend I’m anything but depressed or anxious or manic, viewing it as a weakness and fearful of being judged by those who have never experienced it for themselves. You know, those well-meaning friends and family who offer advice such as, “Cheer up! Just put a smile on your face and you will feel better . . . and while you’re at it, get OUT of the house and DO something!” It isn’t as easy as that. I read a description of depression as standing behind a thick sheet of plexiglass. You can see everything going on around you but you can’t participate. It’s isolating and lonely.
When I paint I am always looking for the joy within the colors I use and the story that unfolds on the paper. I paint women and each woman is me. They never have a smile on their faces, and I’m often asked why. Their eyes are staring straight on, almost as though they’re looking through the viewer. The ‘smiles’ and the happiness and joy are mixed in with the paint. They are underneath the surface. When people look at my artwork I want them to feel happy and to see the joy peeking out from beneath the bright colors and throughout the happy story painted on the paper.
Painting calms me when I’m feeling anxious, and it distracts me somewhat from the fearful feeling. It’s a distraction from the grip of depression, and it’s a light in the darkness. It’s my way of sharing with and interacting with others, even if I’m a hidden face within a work of art. Painting also helps me keep my sense of humor and optimism when things get really rough.
My joyful collaboration with accomplished poet and novelist and photographer Dan Stone began as a meeting of minds and spirits that quickly flowered into both a rich friendship and a richly rewarding creative partnership. The best partnerships often seem to be born from a mix of magic and synchronicity . . . people with unique talents and a shared vision coming together at the right time in the right place—for the right purpose.
Rarely do I offer a painting that isn’t accompanied by Dan’s verse. Ours is an utterly synergistic and organic—and yes, spiritual—connection where I create a painting and then send the image to him for the poem that always seems to capture the essence and meaning and emotion—the articulation—that completes the painting and that, therefore, is always on display on the gallery wall right beside the image.
Our collaborative work blends word and image in an effort to inspire and evoke awareness of personal power and possibility—and play--and to convey the perfection in the gift of the moment. It’s our hope that viewing and reading our work brings as much pleasure and encouragement—and magic—as we experience creating it.
Artist/Poet Websites:
www.chertheart.com
www.danielseye.com